Why Are You Downcast, O My Soul?

 Psalm 42:5-6

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me; 

therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan,

the heights of Hermon--from Mount Mizar.

Do you ever feel like this at times?  Do you ever wonder why you can't just be happy?

This is a tough place to be.  You can tell yourself, "Just be happy.  Stop being so depressed and grumpy," but that approach never works.  If you have ever been in the same place as this Psalm writer you know that it's not that easy.  You would like it to be.  People around you would like it to be.  But it just isn't.

Whatever you're going through that has put you in this emotional and spiritual funk just has to be gone through.  There is no short-cut.  You have to deal with whatever is causing this "spiritual depression" and learn the lessons along the way.  The problem that makes this so difficult to work through, and help others work through, is that no two situations are the same.  What triggers my soul to be downcast is not the same thing that triggers yours.  Therefore, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to working your way out of this funk.

I would love to be able to tell you how to snap out of it as soon as you recognize this onset, but I don't have that answer.  I have been battling this myself, on and off, since September.  There are good days, and there are not-so-good days.  There are days when I feel like I have made peace with my current situation, and there are days when I struggle hard because I am frustrated because I am so far away from where I want my life to be professionally and ministerially.  I am sure some of you reading this know exactly what I'm talking about.

The only way I have found to deal with this and keep searching for what's next is found at the end of the first paragraph of the Psalm above:  "Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."  I know that ultimately, this I why I am going through this struggle right now- God is drawing me closer to him.  I need to learn how to rely on him for everything and trust his plan, even when I can't see it.  Even when it doesn't make any sense to me.  I will trust it.  I will trust him.

Psalm 46:10-11

"Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

The best advice I can give you when you're struggling with a "downcast soul" is: Be in God's Word more.  Double the amount of time you spend reading Scripture everyday.  Double up your prayer life as well.  Bible reading and prayer is the best way I have found to deal with this situation.  

Finally, you need to act.  There is probably something that you know you need to do.  Do it!  Step out on faith and do it.  The more it scares you the more you need to do it.  Faith is displayed by our actions not our words.  If you truly trust God's love for you then you need to do the things you know you need to do. 

I know for me, this is typically what causes a downcast soul- I'm not doing the thing I know I need to be doing.  This leads to incredible frustration and depression.  I know I said above that their is no easy solution to this condition, but the best thing you can do is to start doing that thing you've been avoiding.  The thing you've been too scared to deal with.  That thing that you know would change everything for you.  Do it today and trust that God will bless it how he chooses.  Doing nothing will only make your funk worse.  Trust me.  I've tried that before too.  Doing nothing never makes anything better.

The Lord Almighty is with you.  Do it!

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Thinking & Preparing: How Often Do You Do It?

 Acts 8:1

On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria.

Why do you think it took these drastic events to get the early to church to start living out its Great Commission calling?  Jesus had told all the disciples, not just the apostles, to "go into all the world and preach the good news."  But they hadn't yet. It took the murder of Stephen and the persecution of the church in Jerusalem to motivate the disciples to leave Jerusalem and get out into the world.

Sometimes our situation needs to change drastically to motivate us to do the things we know we are supposed to do.  These events come in all different forms: a significant health scare, the loss of a job, the death of a family member, etc.  Why do so many of us wait for these big events to finally do what we know we should have been doing all along?  

Why do we wait for our health to fail before we get serious about our physical fitness?

Why do we wait to lose our job before we start pursuing our passion and calling in life?

Why do we wait for the death of a loved one before we get serious about our relationships?

Much like the early church in Jerusalem, the answer for us too, is Comfort and Familiarity.  We get into the groove of life and we just do what we do, day in and day out.  We don't need to stop and think all that often because we are dialed in.  We know how to do what we do and we have put life on cruise control.  So, just like that church in Jerusalem we need big events to wake us up.  We need a strong enough slap in the face to wake us up from our years-long slumber.

What have been some of your big life events?  What are some lessons you learned from them?  How have they helped to get you where you are today?

While there are some big lessons to learn from major life events, we don't have to wait for them before we take stock of our lives.  It is actually better to do something every day to prepare yourself for those events.  Even if they don't come, you'll be better off just for going through the exercise of thinking and preparing.  That is really the point of all of this: Thinking and Preparing.

I encourage you to take time every day to think through your life.  Think through your day and learn something from your experience.  Evaluate your life often.  Are you living your purpose, or are you just chasing a paycheck and health insurance?  This is ultimately how you prepare yourself for the storms of life.  Start preparing financially for financial chaos.  Start intentionally investing in your most important relationships.  Start exercising and eating better.  Today is the day to start doing all those things you keep telling yourself, "I really need to..."

The best way to start doing this is by developing the habit of reading.  Reading every day will help you to start thinking every day.  Reading is the easiest and, maybe, the most important place to start.  So get started.  Don't wait for the next storm to expose how much time you have wasted.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

What Leadership Looks Like

 Acts 6:3-5a

Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom.  We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.

This proposal pleased the whole group.

This conversation and decision was the result of the Greek Jews in Jerusalem complaining to the Apostles that their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food.  The Apostles realized that they didn't have the time to manage and focus energy on overseeing this ministry, so they wisely gathered all the disciples together and told them to appoint men to oversee this ministry.  The Apostles recognized they couldn't do everything themselves and they needed to stay focused on what was most important.  They needed to be doing the things that only they could do.

This is leadership.  You can't do everything yourself.  If you try to, eventually people are going to be unhappy because of everything that is getting missed, or done poorly.  You just don't have enough hours in a day to do everything yourself.  Even if you did, why would you want to?  How does your organization grow, and how do your people grow if you are doing everything yourself, all the time?

Also, look at what the Apostles did.  They didn't just turn this responsibility over to whomever was available to do it.  They put men in charge of it who were known to be capable and qualified to oversee it.  Actually, the Apostles didn't do the appointing.  They told the assembly to choose the men.  So the people who were complaining about the problem got to be the ones to decide who would be in charge of fixing it.  

That's another key point of leadership.  Let the people who are complaining about problems be the ones to come with the solutions to the problem.  You don't help people grow by solving all of their problems for them.  The Apostles simply listened to the complaint and them gave some guidance on how to solve the problem.  

I want you to take notice of one more thing from the passage above:  What was the qualifications that all seven men had?

They were full of the Spirit and wisdom.  All seven men were know to be full of the Holy Spirit.  Spiritual maturity was the #1 qualifier with wisdom #2.  It almost goes without saying that men who are full of the Spirit also have wisdom.  After all, true wisdom is a fruit of the Spirit.  This is important to note because the qualifications for these men had nothing to do with their technical skills.  Food Distribution experience was not a qualification that was even considered.  That wasn't really important.

What do you look at when you're looking to hire someone or add them to your team?  Are you too focused on technical skills?  If you tend to go through a lot of people in a relatively short period of time, you are way too focused on technical skills.  You need to learn from the Apostles of the early church.  The important "skills" are intangibles: wisdom, leadership, people skills, problem solving ability, conflict resolution skills, etc.  People with these skills can learn and acquire the needed technical skills.  People with high technical skills can learn these intangibles, but they likely won't if you don't have a leadership development program in place.  Most people will not seek out leadership development on their own.

The Apostles took this leadership approach because they wisely understood their mission.  Their top priorities were prayer and taking care of themselves spiritually, and preaching the Word.  Their main job was to proclaim the gospel of Jesus to the world.  They recognized their ministry wasn't about them, it was all about Jesus.

I encourage you to do the same.  Stay focused on your mission.  Don't get caught in the trap of always having to be "the guy".  Empower your people to do what they need to do so you can stay focused on doing the things only you can do.  Learn this lesson well.  It is what leadership truly is.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Think Creatively

 In the book, The Magic of Thinking Big, Dr. David Schwartz lays out six ways for you to improve your ability to think creatively:

1. Believe it can be done.
2. Don't let tradition paralyze your mind.
3. Ask yourself, "How can I do better?"
4. Ask yourself, "How can I do more?"
5. Ask questions, and really listen to people.
6. Stretch your mind.  Listen to people who think different than you.

In this article, I will say something about each of these.  To go deeper into any one, I encourage you to read the book and really think through each one on their own.

Believe it can be done.

Belief is where it all starts.  If you don't believe something can be done you won't put any effort into figuring out how it can be done.  If you don't believe there could be a better way to do something, you won't look for better ways to do it.  This probably seems obvious and like common sense, but most people don't think this way.  Unfortunately, most people that you work with and meet every day have a fixed-mindset.  They don't believe what I just wrote.  They believe "It is what it is."  They don't believe they can ever get better, that there might be a better way to do things, or that their life will ever be more than it is right now.

Do you see how both the fixed-mindset and the open-mindset begin with belief?  The only people who attempt to do anything are the people who believe that something can be done.  They are the ones who truly believe their ideas can be turned into reality.  If you want to accomplish anything in life, first you must believe that it can be done, and you are the one to do it.

Don't let tradition paralyze your mind.

This is a big roadblock for a lot of people and organizations.  The bigger the institution the more likely you are to hear, "This is the way we've always done it," or "This is just the way we do it here."

Phrases like this kill creativity.  This attitude is a deadly symptom of a fixed-mindset.  The real danger of allowing a fixed-mindset to settle into your organization is that it quickly goes from a Leadership culture to a Management culture.  The fixed-mindset of Command-and-Control Management is the death knell of creativity and productivity.  When this sets in it sucks to be a part of your organization.  Work becomes exhausting and drudgery.   

The way you avoid this disease is by making available a Leadership Development program to everyone in the organization.  The highest amount of creative genius in your organization exists at the lowest levels of the org chart- the people who actually do the work that makes your organization what it is.  These are the people who actually drive your business system.  If you don't believe that, give them all the next two weeks off, paid, so they come back when you realize the reality of your situation.  Leadership matters.  Developing leadership at every level of your organization matters even more.

I will never understand why every organization doesn't hire everyone at their entry level with the idea of moving them up through the ranks as they desire and are capable.  This is how you build an organization from the ground up, but it takes a strong commitment to leadership development.  If you're okay with mediocrity, just keep doing it the way you've always done it.  Don't worry about creativity and competing in the market place, you won't be in it for much longer.

Ask yourself, "How can I do better?"

This is an important question.  It puts all the focus on you and what you need to do to get better.  I would encourage you to ask yourself this question every day and give it serious thought.  

How can you do better?  What are some areas that you can improve in?  What are some areas that you need to improve in?

The importance of this question is that it keeps you from blaming others.  It helps you avoid the temptation to place "should's" on others:  They should do this, or they should do that.  Why didn't they...?

By asking yourself this question, you take responsibility to be the one the to grow and improve.  In the long run this attitude and exercise will be a huge blessing to you, and not just professionally but in every aspect your life.  Anytime you want something in your life to get better, ask yourself this question and work on getting better.

Ask yourself, "How can I do more?"

I'm sure you can see how this ties directly into the previous question.  The success principle from The Magic of Thinking Big is: "Do what you do better.  Do more of what you do."  Once you start doing what you do better, doing more of it is what compounds your efforts.  This should happen naturally once you get better at what you do.  Being better at what you do doesn't just mean being more competent, it also means being more efficient.  It is this combination, competence and efficiency, that empowers you to do more.  This is what truly makes you stand out among your peers.  It's both.  It's doing what you do better, and doing more of what you do.

These first four principles tie together and address your thinking.  They are really attitudes, how you approach your life and your work.  The last two hit more on the how, what are some ways you can actually start implementing these ideas?

Ask questions and really listen to people.

This is tough for a lot of people.  First, to ask someone a question you either have to be interested in them as a person, or you have to acknowledge that they know something that you don't.  If you have a tough time asking people questions, you need to get over yourself.  This is a sign of low self-esteem.  Get over yourself.  

Even if you already know the answer or how to do something, give someone the opportunity to show you what they know.  This is a key part of being a leader.  You need to empower people to solve problems and contribute their ideas.  If you want to improve your creative thinking and empower others to think more creatively, asking others questions is essential.  Make this a daily habit.  When you have a project that you are working on ask someone how they would approach it.  Even if you already know how you're going to do it this may give you some ideas down the road if you get stuck on something.

Humility is required to do this.  Humility helps you recognize that other people have value and they have something to contribute.  If they don't, why are they working for you?

Stretch your mind.  Listen to people who think different than you.

This is the ultimate test of an open-mindset.  Can you listen to, and take ideas from someone who thinks different than you?  This isn't necessarily referring to someone who believes different than you, but it can mean listening to someone who sees things differently than you when it comes to your organization.  Maybe it's someone who has a different idea about the direction the organization should be going.  This could mean someone who believes different than you politically or religiously, but it doesn't have to.  Just think of someone who thinks different than you, whatever that means for your situation, and have a conversation with them.  Not a debate.  Not an argument.  Have an actual conversation with the.  Ask them questions and then listen to their thoughts and ideas.  Your beliefs and thoughts don't have to conform to theirs, but you need to respect them enough to at least listen to them so you better understand them, and why they think the way they do.

This is not liberalist tolerance and inclusion training.  This is leadership.  If you want to lead people you have to care about people, even the ones you don't naturally connect with or see eye-to-eye with.  This is how you care about people, respect them, and give yourself the best opportunity to influence them in areas where their thinking is flat out wrong.  

If someone's thinking is hurting them, or holding them back, wouldn't you like to be able to help them overcome that blind spot.  This is a big step in that direction.  It allows you to be a blessing in their life, and helps you recognize that they are a blessing in your life.

I hope this is helpful for your leadership journey.  I encourage you to get the book and study the entire thing.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Developing Discipline

How do you develop discipline?

What are some of the strategies that you use?

I don't know how often you think about your personal discipline, but you are affected by it everyday- for the good or the bad.  Discipline is something I think about constantly.  Part of this comes from setting goals, part of it is from trying to create new habits.  I tend to notice discipline the most when I fail to be disciplined: missing workouts, eating things I am trying to cut back on, not noticing an opportunity to serve my wife, etc.  These are the times when I notice discipline the most, because I recognize that I failed to discipline myself to do the things I know I need to do to get the things I want in my life.  Discipline is so important, but it is also so challenging.

We all know the negative consequences of a lack of discipline.  We feel it in every area of our lives: in our marriages, in our health and fitness, at work, with our children, in every area of life.  Lack of discipline is the culprit holding us back.  It keeps us from being the best version of ourselves, that ideal self we picture in our minds each day.  

The positive side is also true.  Each of you has some area of life where you are disciplined.  The way to recognize where it is is by looking at where in your life you get  quality results consistently.  The reason you are getting good results in that area is because you have disciplined yourself there.  The good thing is, if you have disciplined yourself in one area you can discipline yourself in another.  Usually, discipline carries over.  If you are disciplined in one area, generally, it will spill over into other areas of your life.  That is why discipline is so important and impactful.  You can actually carry over discipline wins from one area of life into all the other areas of your life. Being disciplined with your fitness will help you be more disciplined in your marriage.

That is one of the great secrets and powers of discipline.  Discipline compounds upon itself and then spills over into your whole life.  That's why it is so important to pick an area and work to develop discipline there.  Pick the area of life that will give you the greatest leverage- the one area that will have the greatest impact on every other aspect of your life.

I don't know your specific situation, but here a couple of suggestions on where to start to discipline yourself:

1. Read your Bible at least 30 minutes every day.

        I recommend doing this as early as possible in the morning.  If you work out first thing in the morning then read right after your workout.  Developing this discipline has eternal rewards.  To keep our faith strong and growing we need to be in God's Word every day.  This will also have a significant impact on every area of your life.

    2. Exercise every day.

        This one is so important for your mental, emotional, and physical health.  I recommend exercising first thing when you get out of bed every day.  Your life is busy.  If you're like me, if you don't do it first thing in the morning you won't do it at all.  This may mean you have to change some of your current habits.  Do it!  If that means you have to get up 30 or 60 minutes earlier, then do it.  Turn off the T.V. and go to bed at a decent time.  You need to make exercise a priority in your life because your health and fitness have such a great impact on every other area of your life.  DO IT!

I won't go into how to set goals and develop the discipline you need in your life, but I will recommend some books to read to dive deeper into this subject:

1. Resolved- by Orrin Woodward
2. The Ant and the Elephant- by Vince Poscente
3. The Magic of Thinking Big- by David Schwartz

These three books will get you started in the right direction, and will help you build a strong foundation.  Keep reading.  Keep learning.  Keep growing.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

What's Your Theme for 2021

 Do you make New Year's resolutions?  If you do, what are yours for 2021?  Are they similar to your 2020 resolutions?

I have stopped making New Year's resolutions.  A better approach is to set your goals for the new year and then develop a game plan for each goal and focus that way.  But I haven't done that this year either.  Instead I have come up with a theme for myself for 2021:

Deny Yourself

If anyone wants to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.

-Luke 9:23

To make the changes I need to make this year, all my choices are going to be run up against this theme.  This is how I will make better choices for my health and fitness.  This is how I will make better choices in my relationships, especially in my marriage.  This is how I will make better choices in my education and personal growth.  This theme is going to be my guide to making better choices in 2021.

So what's your theme for 2021?  Really think about this.  Don't make it some cliché catch-phrase.  Really think about it, and come up with a theme that will guide your choices and actions this year to get you where you want to be.  Still set goals for 2021, but come up with your theme first.  Then set goals that are in line with what you ultimately want this year to look like.  Throughout the year your goals may change a little, but your theme should not.  Once you choose a theme stick with it all year.

If you're not sure what your theme for the year should be, start reading your Bible.  When you find a verse or a passage that really resonates with you meditate on it for a few days.  Let God's Word guide you for the entire year.

Your words are a lamp for my feet and a light for my path. -Psalm 119:105

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Live Beyond Reproach

Listen to this Article 

Genesis 14:22-24

Abram said to the king of Sodom, "I have lifted up my hand to swear to the LORD, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, that I will not take a thread or sandal strap or anything that is yours, so that you cannot say, 'I have made Abram rich.'  I will take nothing except that which the young men have eaten and the share belonging to the men who went with me, namely, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre.  Let them take their share."

Abram is demonstrating a key leadership principle here.  "Live beyond reproach," or "Avoid even the illusion of sin."  What Abram is doing here is making sure that no one can make any claims against him at some future date.  He isn't going to take any of the spoils of his military victory so that the king of Sodom can't make any claims against him in the future.  There won't be a time later when the king of Sodom can take credit for making Abram rich.  Abram is very intentional about making sure that the only one who can lay claim to his blessings is God.

There are several lessons here for leaders today.  As a powerful leader in this region, Abram knew that anything that he took from this battle could be leveraged against him at some future date.  The kings of Sodom could have used this to try to create the illusion of alliance between Abram and themselves.  Abram wanted to make it clear there that there was no alliance between them.  They were not in fellowship.  Abram was simply fighting for his nephew, Lot, and his family.  What we know of the wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah, Abram did not want to create the perception that he agreed with what was going on in those cities.

Here's another application for today's leaders.  Don't put yourself in a position where someone can make an accusation about you.  It should go without saying to stay clear of situations where you could be tempted to sin, but don't even put yourself in a position where someone can make an accusation against you.  One of the biggest areas to guard yourself against is sexual misconduct, both real and perceived.

Here are a few general rules to keep yourself from these temptations and accusations:

• Never ride alone in an elevator with a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.
• Never have a closed door, 1-on-1 meeting with a child or a person of the opposite sex.
• Do not attend events where you know sinful activity will be happening.
• Guard your close associations.  Be mindful of who you allow into your inner circle.
• When traveling, never allow yourself to be alone in a hotel room with a person of the opposite sex.
• Avoid swimming pools and hot tubs when children or a person of the opposite sex are utilizing them.

These guidelines must be applied with some common sense, but it is important to be thinking of these things as you go through your life.  If you are a leader, people are watching.  If you are a leader, you are responsible for other people.  You will face enough temptations in life; don't willingly or thoughtlessly put yourself in a position to be tempted to sin or be accused of sin.  You have a responsibility to the people you are leading.

A leader must sacrifice his personal ease and desires for the sake of the community that he has been trusted with.  Sometimes it is really inconvenient to do the right thing.  The leader does the right thing anyways.  Sometimes you have to give up something that you really like to avoid temptation.  A leader gives it up anyways.  As leaders, we are responsible for other people.  We must not give them permission to sin by our thoughtless or sinful actions.

Godly leaders store up their treasures in heaven and live beyond reproach.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

What Will Your Legacy Be?

What's your family's legacy?  Have you ever thought about it?

Most people don't.  Most people don't give it a second thought.

If you died today, what would your legacy be?  How would you be remembered?  Would you be remembered?

The Scripture text that we are looking at today is Genesis 25:19-34 and Genesis 27:1-40.  

This is the account of the birth of Jacob and Esau, and then Jacob stealing the birthright and blessing from his brother Esau.

If Esau had been able to carry out his plan to kill his brother, this would be Jacob's legacy.  He would only be remembered as a deceiver and a cheat.  This is what happens when we don't trust God's plan for our life, and we try to take matters into our own hands.  We end up hurting people with our self-serving attitudes and actions.

In this account God had already told Rebekah, Jacob's mother, that He favored Jacob.  He had told her that "the older will serve the younger". (Gen. 25:23)  God already had it worked out that the Savior would come from Jacob's line.  Jacob would be blessed.  Yet even with that promise, Jacob stole Esau's birthright; and then Rebekah plotted to have Jacob steal Isaac's blessing.  The blessing that he was going to give to Esau.

This is quite the family mess.  Esau gets so angry that he actually plots to kill his brother.  Do you have any messy situations like that in your family?  Interestingly, if you do it probably centers around the same type of situation: Family inheritance.  

Sadly many families are torn apart when the parents die and it comes time to settle the estate.  Even when there is a will that spells out clearly who gets what, there is still hurt feelings and animosity between family members.  It's sad how many families fall apart after mom and dad die.

Thankfully, this doesn't have to be your legacy, or your family's legacy.  You can choose instead to love and serve your family.  Jacob could have made much better decisions when it came to how he treated his brother.  Jacob could have trusted God's plan and patiently waited for it to be revealed.

Don't take this too far.  It is not our job to try to guess God's plan for every detail of our life.  It is our job to use the intelligence and logic that he's given us to figure out how best to serve him.  As long as what we want for our life isn't sinful, and we don't have to sin to get it- then go for it.  Ultimately, the best question to ask when trying to figure out your path in life is:  How can I best serve Jesus?

That question will guide you in every decision you have to make.  If you make the mission of your life to serve Jesus to the very best of your ability you won't go wrong.  You may have to course correct from time to time, but you won't fall into the same trap as Jacob.  This question will help keep you from hurting other people for the sake of your own gain.  Staying focused on Jesus will help you from being too focused on yourself.

That is how you build a meaningful legacy.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

God Created Marriage

Take a moment and think about your marriage.  How would you describe your relationship?

Did any of your thoughts center around how you compliment each other?  Did you think of ways that your strengths cover your spouses weaknesses, and vice versa?

This is what God says is supposed to happen.  The main reason God created Eve, and by doing so marriage, is because "... for Adam no suitable helper was found."- Genesis 2:20.  Meditate on that for a few minutes:  The reason God created Eve, and marriage, was to give Adam a helper.  A partner.  Someone to share his life and work with.

Notice what God didn't create Eve for:  She was not to be a boss.  A nag.  Adam's mentor or critic.  She also was not created to be Adam's mother.  Nowhere in Genesis 2 and 3 does it talk about Eve treating Adam like her child. 
All of these negative traits are a result of sin. (We won't go into that here.  We'll address The Fall next week.)

God created marriage to be a blessing for both men and women.  God created the marriage relationship to be the most passionate, intimate relationship we have outside of our relationship with Him.  Adam and Eve are the only couple in history to experience the perfect marriage.  Sadly, even for them it was short-lived.  Imagine what their marriage would have looked like:

Adam's perfect Christ-like leadership.

Eve's perfect submission to her husband's leadership.

Adam lovingly serving his wife with no expectations, just a beautiful expression of love.

Eve perfectly respecting her husband.

A passionate and loving sexual relationship. 

(The reason why many theologians believe The Fall happened very quickly after Creation Week.)

Obviously none of us can have a perfect marriage.  This doesn't mean that we all can't be working to make our marriages better every day.  God's Word is full of direction on how husbands and wives are to carry out their specific roles in marriage.  God has lovingly given us His marriage manual.  The only question is: Will we listen to Him, and apply what He teaches?

Here are a couple of suggestions that you can begin applying today to improve your marriage:

 Husbands:  

1. Love your wife sacrificially.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her...In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.- Ephesian 5:25,28

      2.  Love your wife with gentleness and tenderness.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.- Colossians 3:19

Wives:

1. Respectfully submit to your husband's authority and leadership as the head of the family.

Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord.  ...and the wife must respect the husband.- 

Ephesians 5:22,33b

     2.  Have sex with your husband.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.- 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

The reality is that no one has a perfect marriage.  Even Adam and Eve's perfect marriage was short-lived.  That's not an excuse to be a selfish and demanding husband.  Nor is it an excuse to be a nagging and cold wife.  This reality is our wake-up call to get better.  

Thankfully Jesus has lived the perfect life in our place.  Through His Word, He empowers us to be Godly husbands and wives.  His perfect life and resurrection gives us the power to get better every day.  No excuses.  Just do it!

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Quote of the Week: Leadership Education- The Phases of Learning

For most educators, the hardest part of getting off the conveyor belt is getting their own Leadership Education.  The second hardest thing is backing off from a "require, require, require" view of education when children are young.  If you do these things well, your fourteen-year-olds will beg for a Leadership Education like Thomas Jefferson got and you will be ready to help them attain it.  They will get a superb Leadership Education, and the future of the world will be changed--one home and one classroom at a time.
(Oliver DeMille, Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning, p.30)

Audio of the Week:

Moses' Teachable Moment

Quote of the Week: Letters to the Church

Leaders, I want to challenge you to examine your lives and see whether you can truly tell people in good conscience to follow you as you follow Christ.
Just because we claim to believe in Him or went to school to study for ministry, it doesn't ensure that our hearts are His.
Remember that in Jesus' day, some of the religious leaders were the most evil.
(Letters to the Church, Francis Chan, p. 111)

Quote of the Week: Speed of Trust

Trust is a function of both character and competence.
(Speed of Trust, p. 25, Covey)

Quote of the Week: The Speed of Trust

How you go about achieving results is as important as the results themselves, because when you establish trust, you increase your ability to get results the next time.
(The Speed of Trust, p. 40, Covey)

Obedience Is A Sign of Love

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John 14:15

"If you love me, you will obey what I command."

There is a very interesting relationship between obeying earthly authorities and obeying God's authority.  If you stop and think about it, they are actually the same thing.  No one on earth has any authority that hasn't been given to them by God.  Even Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."  God, who is the ultimate authority, gives people their authority.  

Sadly, some choose to abuse the power and authority that they have been given.  Even when this is the case, we are still commanded to obey and submit to their authority.  The best example of this is Jesus before Pilate:

The Jews insisted, "We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God."

When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, and he went back inside the palace.  "Where do you come from?" he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer.  "Do you refuse to speak to me?  Don't you realize I have the power to either free you or to crucify you?"

Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.  Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin." -John 19:7-11

Pilate knew Jesus was innocent of any crime.  Pilate didn't want to have anything to do with his death.  Yet he still gave the order for Jesus to be crucified.  In this interaction you need to picture the scene:

Jesus has been flogged, almost to death.  He has been beaten and pulverized constantly for the last eight hours.  He is bloody.  His back has been torn to ribbons.  His face is swollen, bloody, and discolored.  His eyes are practically swollen shut.  He looks totally pathetic and defeated.

When Pilate asks this question I picture Jesus just rolling his head toward Pilate and giving this response.

This is the ultimate picture of perfect obedience.  This is a beautiful picture of submission and love.  Jesus submitted Himself to the Father's plan of salvation.  He submitted to the authority that had been given to Pilate.  He loved us enough to do it.  He loved Pilate enough to give him this one last shot at repentance.

Imagine how your life would change if you honored the authorities in your life the way that God commands.  Wives, what if you truly submitted to your husband as to the Lord?  Employees, what if you submitted to your boss's authority the way that Scripture commands?  Citizens, what if you actually submitted to the governing authorities instead of slandering them?

God gives a promise about what our lives would look like:  Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.  God wants to bless us.  That's one of the reasons He gave us the Ten Commandments.  He wants us to know His expectations so we can strive to live according to His will.  This is how we show our love to God.  

Obedience ultimately come down to this:  Rebellion against any earthly authority is rebellion against God.  The only time it is okay for us to disobey earthly authorities is when they make rules/laws that would make us sin against God.

Here are some sections of Scripture that will help you understand what God's Word has to say on this subject:

• Romans 13
• Ephesians 5:22-33
• Ephesians 6:1-9
• 1 Peter 3
• John 14:23-24

1 Peter 2:13-25

Submit to Every Authority

13 Submit to every human authority because of the Lord, whether to the king as the supreme authority 14 or to governors as those who have been sent by him to punish those who do what is wrong and to praise those who do what is right. 15 For this is God’s will: that you silence the ignorance of foolish people by doing good. 16 Do this as free people, and do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but use it as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood.[a] Fear God. Honor the king.

Slaves and Masters

18 Slaves, submit to your masters with total respect, not only to those who are good and kind but also to those who are harsh. 19 For this is favorable:[b] if a person endures sorrows while suffering unjustly because he is conscious of God. 20 For what credit is it to you if you receive a beating for sinning and patiently endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and endure it, this is favorable with God.

21 Indeed, you were called to do this, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you[c] an example so that you would follow in his steps. 22 He did not commit a sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth. 23 When he was insulted, he did not insult in return. When he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 He himself carried our sins in his body on the tree so that we would be dead to sins and alive to righteousness. By his wounds you were healed. 25 For you were like sheep going astray, but you are now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

God bless 

Jason Fredrick

Quote of the Week: The Innovator

Pretty much all great achievers since...ever...have a story of facing major challenges and rising above difficulties.  They literally turned those circumstances into lessons, motivations, and even opportunities.  Leaders aren't leaders because they never had serious disadvantages or setback.  In fact, the opposite is true.

(The Innovator, p. 79, Leadership Essential Series)

Watch Your Mouth

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Proverbs 15:4

The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

What does it mean to have a perversion in our tongues?  The dictionary defines perversion this way:  The alteration of something from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended.  The original perversion took place in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve's sin perverted their relationship with God.  In regards to speech, God lays out His definition of undistorted speech in Philippians 4:8.  Does your speech match God's definition, or does it pervert and distort what God calls good? (Character Matters, p. 10, Dr. Steve and Megan Scheibner)

There a a number of ways that a "soothing tongue" can be a tree of life.  There is encouragement, compliments, edification, words of comfort, words of love, a soft and loving tone, forgiveness, understanding, etc.  

There are just as many ways that a "perverse tongue can crush the spirit":  Lying, cursing, vulgarity, course joking, gossip/slander, verbal abuse, yelling, belittling, betraying a confidence, etc.

I like how the Scheibner's go all the way back to the Garden of Eden to begin the conversation of perverse speech.  Think about it.  Satan's first attack was a verbal assault on God's Word, "Did God really say?"

Then Eve indulged him by exaggerating what God had actually said.  The conversation spiraled downward from there.

The same is true for us.  You probably have people in your life whom you are more prone to perverse speech when you are around.  This is one of the reasons why we have to watch our associations closely.  It is an easy trap to fall into.  We automatically talk like the people we are around.

Words are amazingly powerful.  Unfortunately, most people don't wield that power with much responsibility.  That's why we need to.  Shower words on people with your soothing tongue.  Be intentional about your words being a "tree of life".  You have to do this in conjunction with eliminating the habit of using your words to crush spirits.  This isn't either/or.  It takes both.  Increase your soothing words with everyone, while also eliminating the perverse words that crush the spirit.

Let's finish with two passages of Scripture.  One tells us how God wants us to speak.  The other is a warning against what perverse speech looks (sounds) like.

Ephesians 5:4-5

Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or course joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.  For of this you can be sure:  No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a person is an idolater--has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

Hold On to Your Faith

1 Timothy 1:18-19

I am entrusting this instruction to you, Timothy, my child, according to the prophecies about you, which were made earlier, so that by them you may fight the good fight, 19 with faith and a good conscience. By rejecting these, some people have suffered shipwreck with regard to their faith...

There is a false Bible teaching that goes something like this: "Once saved, Always saved."  If that little saying were true, then why would Paul encourage Timothy to continue to "fight the good fight"?  If that saying were true, then once Timothy was baptized he should be good for the rest of his life.  He would be free to live however he wanted, and do whatever he wanted.  It wouldn't matter because "once he was saved, he would always be saved", no matter what.

That is why this, and all, false teaching is so dangerous.  False teachings destroy faith, and our reliance on Jesus.  Paul warns that to refuse to fight the good fight is to "shipwreck our faith".  I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like a reassurance that "Once saved, Always saved".  It sounds like a warning to be diligent, because we can lose our faith.  Satan is constantly trying to lead us astray and kill our faith.

I encourage you to be like the Bereans (Acts 17:10-15) and search Scripture every day.  When you hear these quaint little catch-phrases, check them against what Scripture says.  Fight the good fight, be diligent about studying and knowing God's Word so that you can protect your faith and not allow it to be shipwrecked.

God bless
Jason Fredrick

Quote of the Day: Courage- The Backbone of Leadership

Courage is a stunning quality: it is learnable.
...training and practice reverse the habits of fear.  It is the only way that courage is learned.

Courage is a deep-seated, fundamental human competence that leverages our other abilities.  It invokes within us our absolute best selves.

Avoid the Path That Leads to Death

Proverbs 21:16

Whoever wanders from the way of understanding

will rest in the assembly of the dead.

This paints a pretty dramatic picture.  Clearly there is no room for compromise here.  If you wander from God and His Word, you will die- for all eternity.  Jesus warned about how the wide gate and the easy path lead to destruction.  This is a very stern warning, but it also offers hope.

If wandering from the way of understanding leads to death, then staying on the path of understanding leads to life.  See how the solution is in the warning?  Understanding this is the easy part.  Disciplining yourself and doing it is the hard part.  Let's look at some ways to help you stay in the way of understanding.

Read God's Word everyday.  This is crucial for building and strengthening your faith.  Developing the habit of reading every day is essential for success in life; developing the habit of reading God's Word everyday is essential for staying on the "narrow path".  This is how you stay on the path of understanding.  This doesn't need to be complicated.  It can be as simple as starting in Genesis, and reading one chapter every day.  How much you read at a time isn't the most important part, especially when you're first getting started.  
Creating the habit of doing it every day is what is most important.  This isn't a race to finish the book as a quickly as possible.  This is the process of building the foundation for your whole life.  Work on it every day.  Take your time.  Build it strong.
There is no reward for simply reading the entire Bible.  The reward is what the Holy Spirit is doing in your heart as you are reading it.  So take your time and study it.  This is for your life, not for a book report.

Listen to podcasts or the audio Bible everyday.  This is a powerful way to keep you focused on Jesus and what you are doing- is it glorifying Him?  Listening to audios is a powerful method of learning.  It is also more versatile than reading.  You can listen to audios just about anywhere, anytime:  while driving, working out, at work, anytime that you listen to music currently.  Listening to audios daily will go a long way to checking your attitude and keeping you focused on what's most important.
Here are some places to get started, if this isn't a habit in your life already:

• Christ for Disciplers podcast
• Gird Up! podcast
• C4D discipleship audios
• Bible Gateway or You Version Bible app

The final piece is associating with other Christians.  This is the piece that most people recognize, but they are also most resistant to it.  Many people have had a bad experience with church and are no longer interested in being part of a church.  The Bible encourages us, as Christians, to "not give up meeting together".  Meeting together with God's people is so important because we are relational beings.  This is also a time that we can encourage each other and lift each other up.

Going to church every Sunday isn't the only way to associate with fellow Christians, but it is a powerful one.  Another way of associating with your brothers and sisters in Christ is by attending a weekly Bible study.  This is a great way of studying God's Word while building each other up.  A Bible study is also a great way to get familiar with the Bible if you currently aren't.

These are three simple steps to help you stay on the path of understanding.  It is your responsibility to actually do it.  Use these three simple suggestions, and may the Lord bless your discipleship.

God bless

Jason Fredrick

It's Time to Break Free!

Do you ever feel like you're not living up to your full potential?

Is life just one long continuous struggle for you?

Do you ever wonder why you can't make yourself do the things you know you need to do?

Do you know what causes all of these problems?

Here's the short list:  pain, regret, guilt, fear, anger...If you are struggling with one of the issues listed above, most likely it's because you're holding on to one of these.

If you find yourself blaming others or circumstances for your problems, you are hanging on to one of these killers.  

If you have developed the habit of making excuses, you are inflicted with at least one of these diseases.

If you want to push through your mental and emotional barriers, it's time to get honest with yourself.  Which one are you infected with?  Pain, Regret, Guilt, Fear, or Anger.  All of these diseases are terminal.  If you don't get honest about which one(s) you are infected with, it will kill you.  

It will kill every relationship you have.  

It will undermine and sabotage every endeavor you pursue.

It will keep you from making the impact in the world that you are capable of.

So which one is it?  Write it down.  Name it so you can begin to confront it.  Start taking actions to lean into it instead of avoiding it.  Start today.  

Who do you need to confess a sin to, and ask for forgiveness?

Who do you need to have a difficult conversation with?  ...an argument with?

What do you need to let go of and forgive yourself for?

What hurt do you need to let go of and stop being angry at the person or people who hurt you?

The biggest reason why most people live with their problems and struggles is because they actually believe that dealing with them will be more painful.  It probably will be...at first.  This is where you have to simply toughen up and be willing to take the pain.  Avoiding it isn't resolving anything.  It's just holding you back.  The longer you wait to confront whatever it is you need to confront, the more painful it will be.  Therein lies the answer.  Waiting another ten years to deal with it isn't going to make it fix itself.  Waiting doesn't empower you to let go and move on.  In fact, waiting does the opposite.  Waiting gives your problem more power over you and robs you of your power to fix it. 

The great thing is, you don't have to do this alone.  Odds are high that you already have someone in your life who can help you with this.  The first step is humbling yourself and asking for help.  Be honest about your struggle and don't hold back.  Be totally honest and transparent.  Don't worry about being judged or what they are going to think of you.  If you talk to someone who cares about you, they will have mercy on you and want to help because they love you.  Who can you talk to about this?

The best place to start, no matter what your challenge is, is God's Word.  Even if you haven't read the Bible in years, or ever, it is still the best place to start.  If you don't own a Bible download the You Version app or the Bible Gateway app onto your device.  Then just open it to Luke 15 and start reading.  This is the best place to start if you are totally out of ideas on how to address you issues. Don't stop there though.  Take the next step.

The next step, once you have begun to go to God's Word for answers is to join a Bible study group.  This group will help you understand more completely how God can help you.  They can help you understand how God, in fact, already has done everything necessary to help you.  It is because Jesus Christ died on the cross for all of your sins that you can let go of all of your worries, your anger, and your fears.  In Christ, you are free from all of your guilt because He has payed the price for all of your sins and wrong-doings.  You can forgive yourself, because Jesus has already forgiven you.  This is what a good Bible study group will help you understand.

This doesn't mean that you don't have to resolve past conflicts with others.  This means that through Jesus you have the power and ability to forgive those who need to be forgiven, confess any wrong doing to anyone you have wronged, and ask to be forgiven by anyone that you have hurt or wronged.  This won't be easy, but it will change your life.  It will free you from the emotional baggage you have been carrying around.

Most importantly, as the Holy Spirit empowers you to look to Jesus and trust in Him, your eternity will change.  As you continue to study God's Word and grow in faith you can be assured that you are a redeemed child of God and the cares, concerns, and fears of this world don't have any real power over you.  You can be assured that because of what Jesus has done for you, you will spend eternity with Him in heaven.

Now get started!  Stop waiting!

God bless
Jason Fredrick